The Loss of a Dear Loved One

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Writing has been on my mind a lot. But the topics seem to be jumbled up. Lately I’ve been trying to discuss my focus on a positive lifestyle but haven’t quite figured out the way to go about it. Writer’s block I guess. Then I hear the news. The sad news. Of the death of my uncle. My uncle with no real health issues. The father of the cousins who made my childhood so memorable. The shock has been so real and I’m utterly speechless as to what this is.
To Allah we belong and to him we will return. That sounds perfect. My heavy heart finds rest in Allah’s words. Allah is the only eternal one, free of any needs. After the solace of Allah’s words, is just the natural sadness of the loss. The loss of this great man with a heart warming smile that was always on his face. The wonderfully sweet manners. I feel sorry for my cousins. My aunt. Everyone close to him who will feel his absence way more than me. And I pray Allah gives them ease during this hard time.
I am also reminded of the reality of death. How sudden it can be. How life is going normally one day until it’s not going at all. It’s stopped. The only thing that really matters is how we behave in between life and death. If after we forget, we remember. If after we hurt, we apologize. If after we wrong, we right. If after we sin, we repent.
I hope his image of me was anything close to what my image of him was. Because to me he was a great and loving man. May Allah give him ease in the grave and give him ease on the day of judgement. May Allah give him jannatul firdous without hisab. May Allah give his whole family ease. May Allah guide us all and make us all among those whom He loves. Ameen

Gratitude – The Sweet Moments in Life

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I wanted to write and document the things that I am grateful for in an effort to try to become a more positive, happy person.  Allah says in the Quran “If you are grateful, I will give you more.” so here goes! Bismillah….

1.  Two days ago, my eldest son, Belal, wore his father’s jacket and was absolutely loving it.  Aside from looking adorable mashaAllah, I could tell he felt like an adult with that jacket, and proud to be one judging by the smile on his face.  It made me realize how much I love being a mom and watching this stage of my kids’ childhood.  It’s so innocent and full of beautiful surprises. Below is a picture of this moment: Continue reading

10 Ways Ego Causes Downfall of Your Marital Life – Sh. Yaser Birjas

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I attended a very beneficial session by Shaykh Yaser Birjas during this past ICNA 2014 in Baltimore, Maryland so I thought I’d share them with you guys. Below are my notes on the 10 ways ego can cause downfall of your marital life by Shaykh Yaser Birjas. May you find benefit in them. Ameen!

1. Ego will make you half-blind

You only see your side of the story and you’re not ready to see the other half of the truth. In order to open your mind, give it a chance and expect yourself to be wrong.

2. Ego will make you a bitter arguer

This will cause a bitter cycle of who’s right and who’s wrong. The argument is no longer about the actual argument, but whether or not you can prove that you are right even when you’re not.

3. Ego makes you look selfish/arrogant

You will not care about the other person anymore because you’re more worried about keeping your ego in tact.

4. Ego can make you resist positive changes

There are times in life where you have to make major decisions. You can end up making the wrong decisions solely because of your ego.

5. Ego can make the problem last longer

This point was emphasized more than the rest, because at times this is the cause of recurring arguments. You can make an issue last longer or perpetuate the issue over and over only because of your ego.

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Tears

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When that person you love says something hurtful to you.  When that life you dreamed of goes a totally different route.  When you feel like you have neglected the greatest responsibilty that Allah bestowed upon you.  When the weight of the world gets too much for you to handle…make wudu, pray two rakah and elongate your sujood and cry and cry and cry.  That crying in sujood is positive; that crying will lead you to depend solely on your Creator; that crying will lead you to find out about Allah’s names, to be in love with His names, to be in love with His book, and to be in love with the messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم) who carried out His book in his mannerism.  This crying will lighten your heart, will give you the strength to face whatever He gave you and will make you ever so grateful to be His slave.

Accepting Your Spouse for Who They Are

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“You don’t need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely.”

After 5 years of marriage, I’ve come to realize that in order to have a happy marriage there must be acceptance.  Learning to accept your spouse’s personality and habits without wanting to change it is one of the keys to a happy household.  I’ve learned to accept that the best way to bring up a point is to show him rather than talk to him about it.  I’ve learned to accept that we are so different in so many ways yet so alike as well.  I’ve learned to accept this and many other things.  This acceptance comes from the realization of the fact that both of us have chosen to be in this marriage.  In this day and age where we both have economic freedom, and other freedoms there’s nothing really that is forcing us to be together.  We want to be together and when we let go of this expectation of our spouse acting/reacting/being a certain way, and we just accept them for who they are, a beautiful thing happens, they begin to accept us and give us exactly what we have been looking for in this partnership called marriage.  What had you learned from your married life? Please share.  The longer you are married, the more you have to share :)

Reflections on Parenting

People always blame the parents especially the mother when the kids misbehave.  Yet when the kids are successful they forget to give credit to the parents and often credit the kids themselves for their success.  This is similar to our relationship with Allah at times.  We we are able to do good we praise ourselves yet when we fall short or fall into sin we blame Allah for not giving us the opportunity to do good or we blame shaytan for his waswasas.

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Reflections from the Operating Room

This year so far has been a crazy one to say the least, but alhamdulillah for everything. It took a turn when I found out my dad needed bypass surgery earlier this year. Knowing your father will go through a procedure in which surgeons take his heart out and put it on a machine, it makes you realize how everything is truly in Allah’s power. Being in the waiting room for roughly 5-6 hours during the surgery with my heart pounding in my head, my mind racing with what was going on and what could happen…it was frightening to not know anything about what could possible be going on in there. What could the doctors be doing right now? This is a life and death type of surgery, I remember thinking. I have never had my heart as heavy as I did that day. The entire morning before the surgery when we were getting him checked in, he didn’t smile at all, of course he was stressed and worried. But when my dad being wheeled in to prep for his surgery, he waved at us and gave us a faint smile.  I kept remembering that smile the entire time in the waiting room. I saw surgeons come out from the operating room and talk to family members to tell them one of two things; the surgery went well, or the surgery was complicated and they’re working on it. 
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