In the Muslim Indo-Pak culture, girls are taught at a young age that their “real home” is not with their parents but will eventually be with their husband. From the day a girl is born, the parents in the Desi culture prepare themselves and their daughters to eventually leave the nest to her “real home” with her husband. Essentially the parents are prepared to let their daughter go when the time comes. This kind of letting go mentality does not accompany the raising of boys which consequently results in the many problems we have today in Desi Muslim households. The notion of letting a son go in Desi culture is absurd and unnecessary. Sons are meant to be “ours” to keep while the daughters are who we are supposed to let go.
The truth is that our kids (regardless of gender) are not ours to keep. They are given to us as a gift for a limited time and when that time is over we must let both a son and a daughter go to the life they’ve chosen to live. This is what strong mothers do. They let go knowing that this letting go, as painful as it is, will not only make their children stronger but will also give them a beautiful, mutually loving and respectful relationship with their sons and daughters.
Hope you all had a wonderful Ramadan and Eid. This Ramadan was a rejuvenating one for me. its funny how we forget so many concepts that make our lives simple and easy and how fasting and praying in this blessed month can revive these much needed concepts. Shaytan works on this forgetful nature of Insan to divert him from the straight path. This is why the reminder is so necessary for the believer and why this month long training provides that reminder and seeks to build habits that work to defeat the shaytan and our nafs outside of Ramdan. Below are few short reflections and reminders I had during this month that were enormous in helping me 1. to drop negative habits, 2. motivate me to do good, 3. in adding excitement and variety to my life. (more…)
“Take benefit of five before five. Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you’re preoccupied, and your life before your death.” Prophet Muhammed (SAW).
This Hadith is very well known. But when we are young and we stumble upon it, we put it in our mind and then it gets lost somewhere. (more…)
Happy Monday! The following are a few quotes from this book that I am currently reading that have inspired me to think genuinely positive thoughts. Enjoy!
“Train yourself to recognize your thoughts, to better understand your feelings, and remember: you are not your (negative) thoughts”
“If it doesn’t go against the teachings of Islam and brings you joy – then go do it”
“Watch out for irrational thinking such as the belief that life (including you) should be perfect”
“Make peace with the fact that we don’t get everything we want in this life”
Also here’s my random tip of the day! A great way to prevent bad breath during fasting is to take a spoon or tongue scraper and just scrape your tongue anytime you feel your breath is not so fresh. This gets rid of the bad breath, leaves your mouth feeling cleaner, and also doesn’t break your fast in the process. Try it this Ramadan and let me know how it works for you!