One morning, as I lay in bed after Suhoor, my eyes were wanting to go to sleep but my mind was still awake. I remember the night before my sister spoke to me about wanting to go to the park by my house after Sehri and check out the sunrise. Our park has this “preserved wetlands” and walking trail right by it, where there are no buildings or houses built, just a huge chunk of land with trees; a perfect spot to see the sunrise. So finally I got over my laziness, kicked back the covers, put on my hoodie and set out to watch the sun rise. It was a Friday morning, the air was crisp and the sky was clear. The sunrise was incredible.
The next one I got to capture was the morning after the 27th of Ramadan. I wanted to check out if the sun was just like the way the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam described it would be after Laylatul Qadr. The entire sky was filled with dark clouds, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to see the sun, but surely enough, there was the bottom of the sky that was absolutely clear where you could see the entire sun rising up, no rays, just the sun beaming almost like the moon. Wallahu Alam on when laylatul qadr really was, but it made me sad because I felt like I didn’t do enough the night before. And I know a lot of people feel the same way not only with Laylatul Qadr but in Ramadan in general, sometimes you feel as if you didn’t do enough or didn’t do your acts of worship with full concentration or the way you wanted to.
(the picture I got shows the sun as a blur of light because it was right behind a streetlight.)
This brings me to the Jummah Khutbah Sh. Muhammad AlShareef shared in which he states:
You know that sad feeling you get when a time of worship, like laylatulQadr, has passed, but you didn’t do very much? You didn’t make much dua, or much prayers, and things generally didn’t go so well? It’s a really sad feeling – a feeling I recently felt very intimately.
In the khutbah Shaykh Muhammad talks about witnessing the sunrise after the 27th night caused him to feel depressed about whether what he did the night before was enough if it indeed was Laylatul Qadr. It describes those worried thoughts about how you feel like you didn’t do much or didn’t do enough is actually how a believer should think. A believer is one who doesn’t just think that his good deeds are accepted and it’s time to party. Instead they are sad and wonder if what they did was enough. This khutbah was definitely a comforting reminder to those who are feeling that way and also tells you what to do next if you are indeed feeling this way.
Don’t be discouraged by your thoughts. In fact those thoughts are there to help you achieve better next time. And to try hard every day to feed your soul.
To end, here are moments I captured from the sunrise of the last Jummah of Ramadan.