When life starts to feel a little dull, there’s always a part of you that wants a change for yourself. Sometimes that change can be as big as moving away from everything you once knew. And when you do leap to make that change, you love every minute of it. You love that adventure you’ve been craving after so long. But then after a while, when things fall into place and you start to have a ‘routine’ in your life in this newly founded change, you desire that sense of familiarity. That place where ‘everybody knows your name’. That comfort of welcoming loved ones. This journey is what I went through when I relocated from California to New Jersey. I had to go through some adjustments when I moved, and I wanted to put some lessons I personally learned along the way that have helped me deal with this change. I hope it can help you as well.
- Get out there – This seems really simple and to the point but it’s so much more than that. No matter where you are in life, if you lived somewhere for twenty something years and had to move away and start all over again – it will definitely be tricky to know where to start. The best advice I would say is to get out there and explore the places around you. Find places you like and things you dislike. Most importantly, make friends. For me the only place I felt at home was at the masjid in my new town. I knew no one and yet as a Muslim everyone still acknowledges you as someone they know or want to know. It’s not easy to just start making friends, depending on the stage of life you are in. The best of friends I have found upon moving here were those who were willing to understand that I sometimes still have no clue where some cities are, or those whom I can relate to who have also moved from far away. It takes effort to follow up with friends during your busy life adjusting, but trust me, it’s worth a try.
- Keep a connection with your family and friends back home – I am very close to my family, and leaving them really made me realize how much I took them for granted. To overcome this, it helped me to give them a call and to hear their voice from time to time. It helped to listen to their advice as they talked me through tough times or joked with me through good ones. It also helped to go and visit and realize such small things made me really happy, like being able to talk to my sister all night, or being able to joke with my mom all day. You should still keep that connection with your family and friends because moving away doesn’t mean you have to abandon the relationships you once had. It just means you cherish them that much more because of it.
- Love where you came from, but never regret where you are – To this day I always get asked the question, ‘Why would you leave California?’ At first, I had no idea what they were talking about and told myself, ‘Any place is home as long as you are with your loved ones.’ Soon, that motto became a little dry once I realized how much it snowed here, how congested traffic was, or even how I seriously needed to cope with the bluntness of some people. No but seriously, yes, I can find a few things to dislike about where I live. But that won’t do me any good. There are many great things about where I live and I’ve come to love it. But I’ve also realized through that where I came from was an amazing place as well. New Jerseyans have great pride about where they’re from. And that’s great. But don’t let people’s pride get you down about where you came from either. It’s okay to love where you came from, so long as you don’t put down where you are living now.
- With sacrifice, comes great benefits – Many people sacrifice their lives to move to a different country in search for a better living for their children. Some people move different states to find a better job to support their family. Some people move to a different state or country to be with their significant other. All of these people have sacrificed so much for the sake of new beginnings, more blessings, and happier relationships. This is something that requires lots of patience for doing, and don’t ever forget that Allah will reward you for all of it. So long as you have the right intention, you know that you are doing this because it will help with any aspect of your life, that is a huge benefit to yourself that you may not know of until maybe later in your life. You will learn to not hold it against anyone. You will learn to be grateful for what you have. You will learn to never complain about small issues in life. Allah rewards those who are patient. Allah rewards those who sacrifice for their family. Find patience in tough lonely times by turning to Allah, because He will be with you no matter what.
Remembering these few things will make you feel happier and help you to adjust to your ever changing life. Because life, like anything, will always be changing. You just need to fine tune yourself and find that strength inside of you to take on that change.