The number one thing I’ve learned about parenting is that firstly, parenting is 90% about fixing yourself first. Secondly, it’s about knowing your unique child and figuring out what works for them.
After reading all about what kids need, how different kids need different things, and about the stages of toddlerhood; I realized that the most important work I have to do is on myself, not them. (more…)
Writing has been on my mind a lot. But the topics seem to be jumbled up. Lately I’ve been trying to discuss my focus on a positive lifestyle but haven’t quite figured out the way to go about it. Writer’s block I guess. Then I hear the news. The sad news. Of the death of my uncle. My uncle with no real health issues. The father of the cousins who made my childhood so memorable. The shock has been so real and I’m utterly speechless as to what this is. To Allah we belong and to him we will return. That sounds perfect. My heavy heart finds rest in Allah’s words. Allah is the only eternal one, free of any needs. After the solace of Allah’s words, is just the natural sadness of the loss. The loss of this great man with a heart warming smile that was always on his face. The wonderfully sweet manners. I feel sorry for my cousins. My aunt. Everyone close to him who will feel his absence way more than me. And I pray Allah gives them ease during this hard time. I am also reminded of the reality of death. How sudden it can be. How life is going normally one day until it’s not going at all. It’s stopped. The only thing that really matters is how we behave in between life and death. If after we forget, we remember. If after we hurt, we apologize. If after we wrong, we right. If after we sin, we repent. I hope his image of me was anything close to what my image of him was. Because to me he was a great and loving man. May Allah give him ease in the grave and give him ease on the day of judgement. May Allah give him jannatul firdous without hisab. May Allah give his whole family ease. May Allah guide us all and make us all among those whom He loves. Ameen
I attended a very beneficial session by Shaykh Yaser Birjas during this past ICNA 2014 in Baltimore, Maryland so I thought I’d share them with you guys. Below are my notes on the 10 ways ego can cause downfall of your marital life by Shaykh Yaser Birjas. May you find benefit in them. Ameen!
1. Ego will make you half-blind
You only see your side of the story and you’re not ready to see the other half of the truth. In order to open your mind, give it a chance and expect yourself to be wrong.
2. Ego will make you a bitter arguer
This will cause a bitter cycle of who’s right and who’s wrong. The argument is no longer about the actual argument, but whether or not you can prove that you are right even when you’re not.
“You don’t need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely.”
After 5 years of marriage, I’ve come to realize that in order to have a happy marriage there must be acceptance. Learning to accept your spouse’s personality and habits without wanting to change it is one of the keys to a happy household. I’ve learned to accept that the best way to bring up a point is to show him rather than talk to him about it. I’ve learned to accept that we are so different in so many ways yet so alike as well. This acceptance comes from the realization of the fact that both of us have chosento be in this marriage. In this day and age where we both have economic freedom, and other freedoms there’s nothing really that is forcing us to be together. We want to be together and when we let go of this expectation of our spouse acting/reacting/being a certain way, and we just accept them for who they are, a beautiful thing happens, they begin to accept us and give us exactly what we have been looking for in the marriage. What had you learned from your married life? Please share. The longer you are married, the more you have to share 🙂