Image by Sami Nurmi on Flickr

They say having kids changes you forever. I knew this was true, but that it would be such a humbling experience was unknown to me. It’s true that you can only imagine what something will be like, but actually facing the reality is a whole different story. Three months ago Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala (Praise be to Allah, Most Exhalted) blessed me with my first baby, a girl. I was in awe from the moment I met her. I was finally able to see and hold what was just a blurred image the previous nine months. Holding this tiny being made those sleepless nights, the morning sickness, the drastic pangs of labor all worthwhile. I was truly humbled that Allah (swt) chose me for this job, a job where the rewards are endless. I was speechless at the thought of Jannah (heaven) under my feet as a raised status for having a baby. The real status that has been shining is that of the Almighty Allah (swt) He has been there through this journey, miraculously putting food at my work desk when I was too exhausted to walk and too hungry to go on. As I watch my daughter grow, I see what had been happening all along. He’s (swt) been fulfilling His promise to provide from means unimaginable. As I watch my baby I see that He (swt) has continued to provide for her through my milk. Allah (swt) has given me the honor to take care of this tiny baby who has not a speck of dirt on her little heart. It has been wonderful spending day and night bonding with her to the point where she smiles at my face and coos at my voice. Sad but true, she also cries at my disappearance (even if it’s just to the bathroom). These cries have only reminded me of something I’ve been trying to avoid; my return to work. (more…)